By David Maillu
Published September 12, 2023
In the Akamba traditional marriage, for the survival of the family, the survival of the family depended on the boy child. It was a matter of worry if the family had got no boy children. Having only one boy was perceived as a threat, underscored by the fact that child mortality was high. If a man got a series of daughters from his wife, the man had to get second wife in the hope of getting more male children. Polygamy came to the family as a means of ensuring survival. That may explain why any single woman with children out there was precious to men prospecting for children. The only way to adopt her children was to marry her.
If a family had a weakling for a husband his blood would produce weaklings for the family. In that case the wife was encouraged to a child with an outsider If the man fathered a daughter the woman’s relationship with him would not stop until she hit the target.
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Nearly every family had to consider the dangers of children of one blood. Every family lived with awareness of outside forces over the family. For instance, there is the story of the “kithitu” oath matter. If a member of the family had committed an offense which forced the victim family secretly to invoke an oath against the family, the outside blood child could save the family as the oath affected only those with the family blood. Hence, if the worst had to take place by wiping out the family, the outside blood child would outlive the effect of the oath and save the family.
The family member with the outside blood would swear, “May the power of this oath destroy me for denying,
on behalf of my family, that a member of my family is responsible for the said crime.”
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The “kithitu” child was held with high esteem for the family. The search for that child could not be seen as a form of infidelity by the mother. The husband lived with the awareness such a thing could take place with or without his wish. It was widely accepted that if a husband failed to satisfy his wife sexually she had the right to seek help from outside. It was not the woman’s sex which counted but her personality and contribution to the family’s well-being.